Groans of the Children

Ray Ortlund:

"Do not be afraid, dear children of God, you that have fallen into a mournful state, do not be afraid to cry out to God. I know we sometimes feel as if we must not and dare not pray. We have become so dull, so lifeless, so unworthy, that we do not expect to be heard, and feel as if it would be presumption to cry. But our heavenly Father loves to hear his children cry all day long....

If you can cry out to Jesus, he will joyfully hear you. If you give him no rest, he will give you all the rest you need. The Lord finds music in his children's cries.

'Oh' you say, 'I would cry, but mine is such a discordant and foolish cry.' You are the very man to cry, for your sorrow will put an emphasis into your voice. Of all the cries your children utter, that comes closest home to you which arises out of their pain and deep distress. A dying moan from a little one will pierce a mother's heart. See, she presses the babe to her bosom! She cries, 'My dear dying child,' and weeps over it. You too shall be pressed to the bosom of everlasting love if you can only groan or sob or sigh."

C. H. Spurgeon

This show is so addicting

Crazy... so near to the end.

I forgot how much I love this movie...

Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.
I am haunted by waters.

Norman in A River Runs Through It

Quotable

"You're going to pass something down no matter what you do or if you do nothing.  Even if you let yourself go fallow, the weeds will grow and the brambles.  Something will grow."

John Steinbeck; East of Eden

Tutoring for Restoration

Yesterday morning, I spent three hours tutoring five students in math at Restoration Academy in Fairfield. I cannot tell you how perfect it felt. For too long I have put service on the back burner of my Christian life. I have placed a high price and value on the life of the mind, which is a good thing. But in the midst of learning and admiring the mind, I think I may have left behind the body. I slipped into a dualism that is in no way biblical. I'm not saying that I ceased to live in a Christ-like manner in my relationships or many other areas of my life, but I placed little to no priority in going beyond my already-formed-easy-to-be-comfortable relationships. I had community, but I created an island of my community from those outside of it. Thank God for the transforming power of the Holy Spirit working through the written word, as it changes and challenges to grow into the likeness of the One who called us out of darkness and into his marvelous light.

Tutoring was fantastic. For one thing, I absolutely loved doing it. I left the house a nervous wreck. It has been six years since my last math class and I have never actually tutored a student in math other than the occasional friend who needed homework help. What on earth am I doing?! Why would I put myself in this situation. I thought about staying home, apologizing later for not showing up. I was reminded though of the lessons learned from David and Goliath. Courage and the will to act come not from our own abilities but from the God who we know to be faithful to his promises. I am not going to tutor by myself, but the Holy Spirit of God goes with me. That is good news that cannot be ignored.

The other thing that I have been thinking about throughout this past week is the idea of altruism vs. gospel-centered service. David (our pastor) spoke this weekend on Psalm 10 and specifically spent some time dealing with the idea of adoption, both our spiritual adoption as sons of God and physical adoption as an outpouring of that love towards orphans. I was tracking perfectly until he mentioned that we do not do this simply because we want to do good, that we are not doing this from the motivation of altruism. My initial reaction at first was probably outright rejection of that. What's so wrong with altruism? Can't we support those people who do good out of an inner sense of injustice or who just have a gut feeling that this is a good thing to do? David kept going. Here is my brief paraphrase of what he said that convicted and really changed my thoughts. "Altruism may do the right thing at first, but what happens when things don't go according to plan? What happens when the adopted child that you thought would be a joy turns out to bring about struggle and great strife? In those instances altruism will not carry you through. Altruism will put a child on a plane with a note attached to him saying 'Sorry, but we can't take this anymore.' Only a gospel-centered going and serving and adopting will be able to struggle through those hard times." That is good news and service worthy of the name of Christ! Not simply a living out of my own power and strength and doing good because I think I can make a difference, but going in the name and power of the Godhead. It's a simple choice when you look at it that way. I pray that God centers my thoughts and actions on him as I continue to serve; that he will use math tutoring as an opportunity to show kids not only ways to get out of poverty (which is a great goal too!), but as a way to make Christian disciples; and that through it all, he would get great glory from that school and everything that goes on there. Sola Deo Gloria!